Chapter 47

SAM COLE

It was her. It was Heidi all along. Your wife – the woman you love – has been making your life a living hell.

Sam’s mind raced in all directions, like someone had ignited a pile of fireworks inside his head. During the many sleepless nights he’d endured over the last few weeks, he had dissected each person in his life to figure out if one of them could be his blackmailer. However, he hadn’t been able to settle upon a name or a reason. The last person he expected to be the culprit was one of his two wives.

He stopped listening to the jury debate whether to save his life and failed to register that he had received a vote of support. Instead, he was consumed by pinpointing the moment Heidi might have discovered his double life. How had he slipped up? What had she learned? Had it all begun with a name?

‘Who on earth is Josie?’ he recalled Heidi asking one evening. On the other end of the phone, Sam’s stomach dropped forty flights.

‘No idea, why?’

‘Because you just called me Josie.’

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘Yes, you did. You said, “I’ll be home around eight-ish, Josie.”’

‘It’s the bad reception. I said around eight-ish honey.’

‘ Honey? When did that become a thing?’

It hadn’t, at least not with Heidi. It was a name he used with his other wife. ‘I’m trialling it,’ he bluffed. ‘You call me babe, so I’m giving honey its day in court.’

‘Overruled. And why are you whispering?’

‘I’m still on-site as there’s a problem with removing an old staircase; I have us all working overtime.’

‘Okay, well, don’t be there too late tomorrow night. It’d be nice if you could come home and stay awake for more than ten minutes … honey.’

Heidi chuckled as she hung up.

Sam replaced his phone inside the pocket of his jeans, slipped a padded oven glove over his hand and punched the kitchen wall three times. ‘Shit!’

he mouthed. How could he have made such a careless mistake?

‘Why are you angry at the wall, Daddy?’ came a voice from the doorway. He turned to see his son, James.

‘I’m not, mate,’ he replied with a contrived smile.

‘Then why were you hitting it?’

‘Sometimes it’s good to release a bit of excess energy.’

‘What’s going on?’ Josie asked, squeezing past their son to reach the fridge.

‘Dad’s being weird.’ James picked up a hand-held games console from the kitchen table and shuffled out of the room.

‘How are you being weird?’

‘The kids think anyone over the age of eight is weird.’

Josie stood behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her forehead upon his neck. ‘What time do you have to leave in the morning?’

‘I’ve set the alarm for five-thirty. The car is charged and the roads should be quiet.’

‘Do you still think you’ll be able to take a couple of days off work for our anniversary?’

‘Yes, I don’t see why not,’ he nodded. ‘I have meetings in London earlier that week but after that should be okay.’

One of the many things Sam had failed to mention to his second wife was that while he was in the capital, he would be celebrating his tenth anniversary to his first spouse. Throughout almost a decade, he had learned simplicity, not elaborate lies, was the secret to maintaining two families who were completely oblivious to one another. It was why, when Josie gave birth to a daughter a year after Heidi had done the same, he insisted they name her after his late sister. His sister wasn’t dead, nor was she called Beccy. But his daughter with Heidi was called Beccy.

And when, by chance, he and Josie’s second child was a boy like his and Heidi’s, baby James inherited the name of his half-brother. Sam knew that if he kept both family set-ups as identical as possible, his chances of making mistakes were reduced. It didn’t stop the occasional errors from slipping through the net, like calling his first wife by his second wife’s name.

It was two days after he and Heidi had returned from their honeymoon when the results of his Match Your DNA test arrived by email. Sam had taken the test long before he’d met and fallen in love with Heidi the traditional way and before the security breach that almost destroyed the company’s reputation. And by the time he’d received a notification to say he and Heidi were not genetically made for one another, they were already married.

However, as content as he felt with his new bride, Sam could not rid himself of a nagging doubt – who was the greater love waiting for him out there? After much to-ing and fro-ing, he reasoned it would do no harm to find out and requested the details of his Match.

Within minutes of meeting near her home in Sheffield, some two hundred miles from his in Luton, Sam knew that Josie was the one. It was more than love at first sight, the intensity of what he felt for her was multiplied countless times. He likened it to a thousand small, but pleasurable, explosions going off in his body all at once. And he knew he was in trouble.

On appearance alone, Josie was a dead ringer for Heidi. But when it came to their personalities, they were worlds apart. Josie was homely, sweet-natured and gave him her undivided attention. Meanwhile Heidi was confident, ambitious and wore the trousers in their relationship. Together they’d have made the perfect woman.

Josie had assumed that, like her, Sam was single and he couldn’t bring himself to correct her and risk losing her. But as much as he wanted to explore what they might potentially have between them, he had a wife.

Both he and Heidi had come from broken homes and had witnessed the trail of devastation divorce could leave behind. He was not strong enough to put himself through that, especially as he still loved Heidi deeply. So he decided to remain with them both instead.

‘I’ve been offered a new contract,’ he announced to Heidi back then over dinner at their local pub. ‘And it’s a big one.’

‘How big?’

‘Really big.’

‘Oh babe, that’s amazing,’ Heidi beamed and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. ‘What’s it for?’

‘The grounds of a new university. I tendered for the refurbishment of nearby student housing – an entire halls of residence needs a refurb and a

rebuild. It’s the biggest contract we’ve ever won.’

‘Why didn’t you say anything earlier?’

‘Because there’s a catch – it’s up in Sheffield. They want me to set up an on-site base, which means I’ll be working away from home three or four days a week.’

‘Oh,’ she replied, her elation curbed. ‘How long will it take to get there?’

‘About three hours. I appreciate it’s not ideal but if it means we can afford to start doing all the things we’ve talked about, then isn’t it worth considering?’ Sam put his free hand over hers. ‘We can move out of the flat and buy a house, then think about filling it up with kids much sooner than we planned. But, look, if you really don’t want me to go for it, then I’ll turn it down.’ Inside, he was counting on her broodiness to override her irritation at his part-time absence. Eventually, she agreed.

‘I’ve got some good news,’ he told Josie in Sheffield later that week.

‘I’ve been offered a contract for a university student accommodation refurb, but it’s down in Dunstable. It means I’ll only get to be up here three or four days a week.’

As Sam explained the non-existent tender, he could tell her elation for him was tainted by the distance they’d spend apart. He didn’t think twice before the words left his mouth. ‘Will you marry me?’ he asked. And ten months after walking down the aisle with Heidi, he made his way down another one with Josie.

Holding together two marriages and two families became an acquired skill. He lived his life constantly on a knife-edge, questioning whether he had said the right thing to the right wife. On the rare nights his sleep was unbroken, he’d wake up in the morning scared that he might have sleep-talked and given something away unconsciously. Some nights that same conscience kept him awake as he worried about the present and the future.

What would happen when he retired? Which wife would he pick to grow old with? What if he were to die suddenly? If he wasn’t at either home, who would the authorities inform first? When his children discovered they had a half-brother and half-sister, would they forgive him? Would Heidi or Josie ever understand what it was like for him to love two people at once?

As both families grew, Sam rotated his time between his homes; three days with Heidi one week, four days with her the next. But there were many sacrifices to be made. He shied away from holidays abroad with either

family as it created too many potential complications such as emergency contact and unexplainable suntans. On his phone, he kept hidden two calendars on two apps so he knew where he would be sleeping each night and wouldn’t forget anniversaries, birthdays and appointments. Sam painted, redecorated and renovated two almost identical properties in almost identical ways. Toolboxes contained the same equipment; sheds the same brand of lawnmowers, strimmers and trimmers. Everything that could be replicated, was.

More flexibility was required when the children fell ill with colds and bugs and he’d lost count of the times he passed on germs from one family to the other. Christmases were the trickiest times to negotiate, so he’d spend Christmas day with Heidi and Boxing Day with Josie, then rotate the following year. To explain his absence, he would tell both families he was visiting his mum who now lived alone in Spain. His whole life was a balancing act.

Another bi-product of his deceit was the cost of maintaining two growing families. Keeping on top of the bills meant he often worked fifteen-hour days and as a result both wives complained about how little time he spent with them.

Against all odds, Sam maintained his double life until one telephone call two months earlier. He was sitting in the audience with Josie and James waiting to watch Beccy perform in a school production of Guys and Dolls when his phone rang. Assuming it was work related, he slipped in his ear pods and found a quiet corridor.

‘Is this Sam?’ a male voice he didn’t recognise began.

‘Yes, how can I help?’ he replied.

‘It’s Don.’

‘Don?’

‘Yeah, from the Guy 2 Guy app? Remember? You gave me your number and told me to call you later this evening for some phone fun.’

‘I’m sorry but I think you have the wrong number, mate.’

‘I saved it from your profile into my phone.’

‘I don’t know what Guy 2 Guy is. I think someone’s messing you around.’

‘Time-waster,’ Don muttered and the line went dead.

A text arrived as he slipped his phone in his pocket. ‘Sexy pics m8,’ it read. ‘Want 2 trade?’ Three photographs of what appeared to be the same

erect penis taken from different angles followed it. Two more texts of a similar nature arrived so he turned off his phone, perturbed.

Sam waited until they returned home and Josie and the kids were in bed before switching it back on. Dozens and dozens of similar texts and emails flooded his inboxes. A link took him to a gay dating website for men who wanted to cheat on their partners, and a page accredited to him and his number, but with some else’s photos and genitalia. ‘Sam Cole, 40, Halifax, Sheffield, Dunstable and Luton, looking for no strings phone, cam and in-person good times. Can’t accom. Willing to do groups. Nothing out of bounds.’

‘What the hell?’ he said aloud and followed another link to try and shut the profile down. But without a password, he was out of luck. Suddenly, his heart leaped into his throat – this was much more than a prank.

Halifax, Sheffield, Dunstable and Luton.

Friends who knew him and Heidi from Luton had been told he was working in Sheffield. Those who knew him and Josie in S heffield thought his company was based in Dunstable. If someone knew about Halifax and Luton, then they knew about his double life.

Over the following weeks, more texts and calls appeared from both men and women, all claiming to have been directed from other dating websites specialising in extramarital affairs. Sam scrolled through them all looking for clues. Some were straight hook-up sites, others gay or bisexual, along with those catering for eye-opening extreme fetishes. In the end, he stopped answering phone numbers he didn’t recognise and eventually the calls faded away. But his concern remained as to who knew his truth.

It was only now as a Passenger that he recalled how at around the same time, Heidi had begun putting pressure on him financially.

‘What do you think of these?’ she’d asked, sliding a brochure under his nose while he made breakfast. It contained kitchen designs, and high-end ones from what he could determine by the option of materials.

‘They’re nice,’ he replied. ‘Why?’

‘Why do you think? We need a new kitchen.’

‘What’s wrong with this one?’

‘It’s at least twenty years old. Two of the cupboard doors are falling off their hinges, one of the hobs doesn’t work and the layout is impractical.

Let’s start enjoying some of this money you’re working all hours to earn.’

‘I’ll think about it,’ he replied. Sam was anxious to change the subject.

Had his salary only been allocated to their household, he could easily have afforded a top-of-the-range kitchen. But every penny was accounted for and split evenly between the needs of two homes. Heidi, however, wasn’t ready to be fobbed off.

‘ You’ll think about it, will you?’ she said. ‘And who made you the master of the house?’

‘That’s not what I meant …’

‘Sam, you’re barely here while me and the kids spend all our time under this roof. And as well as a new kitchen, we need to start thinking about the family bathroom because the shower’s leaking again, the window frames are rotting and the conservatory needs replacing. This house is falling apart and you haven’t even noticed. This weekend I’m going to start sifting through all our accounts to see where we can move some money around.’

Sam panicked. ‘No, no,’ he said a little too quickly. He didn’t want his wife poking around his secret finances or she would likely discover the joint bank account, mortgage and other two credit cards he had in his and Josie’s names. But carrying out all the work she was listing would break him financially. ‘Let’s take it one step at a time,’ he conceded and reluctantly took another look at the kitchen brochure.

A week passed before an email arrived. ‘Your Wives,’ read the subject heading. Sam wanted the ground to swallow him whole as he raced to open it. It contained two embedded images, one of Heidi and their children on holiday in Blackpool and the other of Josie and their offspring playing with water pistols in the garden. Everything Sam had worked so hard to conceal was hanging by a thread.

‘Who are you?’ he typed quickly, his heart caught in his throat. ‘What do you want?’

A week later, a second email arrived. ‘I can make this go away,’ it read.

‘How?’ he replied instantly.

Another seven days passed before he received a reply. ‘It will cost you

£100,000.’

The wait between emails was crippling but there was nothing he could do to speed the process up.

‘I don’t have that kind of money!’ he typed.

‘You own a construction business.’

‘I can’t just take money out of it. That’s fraud.’

‘So is bigamy.’

Sam imagined both wives’ reactions if they discovered the truth. Heidi hated liars – so much of her job was spent trying to decipher fact from fiction that she had no time for it when she left the office. Sam imagined her flying into a rage, then having him arrested for knowingly marrying two women. Meanwhile when Josie found out, she would be devastated and crumble. The pressure was already upon her looking after two children and a mother with dementia. It would kill him to cause her more misery.

He was caught between a rock and a hard place. By reporting the threat to the police, Heidi would likely learn about Josie and his marriages would not survive. He had spent too much of his childhood being treated as a pawn by his parents in their own dysfunctional marriage to watch it happen to his children too. But by paying up, it might break his business.

‘If I manage to get the money, how do I know you’ll not want more later?’ he typed.

‘You don’t,’ he read after another seven-day delay. ‘You’ll have to trust me.’

‘Okay,’ he replied.

‘I want it in cash and delivered one week from now. Next Tuesday morning I will give you instructions on where to leave it.’

Sam barely closed his eyes the night before drop-off. As Josie slept soundly, he curled himself up behind her, draping his arm over her stomach and breathing her in as if for the last time. He had drained the business account of all but pennies. His only hope was that the overdrafts and credit cards he had applied for over the last few days would be accepted and keep his business solvent. It might take him years to pay them off though. It was an added stress he didn’t need but it would be worth it to protect the status quo.

Before he set off on his journey earlier that morning, he brushed against Heidi on the doorstep and took the opportunity to cup her chin and kiss her.

‘You’ve done something, haven’t you?’ she asked, eyeing him up and down. ‘You only ever kiss me like that when you’ve done something you shouldn’t have.’

‘You have a suspicious mind, DS Cole,’ he replied and slipped his holdall containing the cash into the space behind his Passenger seat. ‘See you on Friday.’

It was only now with all the pieces slotting together that it all began to make sense. Dark clouds of guilt filled the sky above him when he thought of how much hatred Heidi must have had for him to go to such extremes.

The pain of her husband’s infidelity would have been all-consuming, the need to punish him fierce. And today he added insult to injury by trying to take her votes and her life as they competed for survival.

He hoped that she could see he had only behaved that way because he had four children who needed him, not just the two.

Nevertheless, Sam had never felt more worthless in his life.