Herr Adam und Frau Eva
Was die Schlange Zischt
MEINE DAMEN UND HERREN!
Folgen Sie mir und unterbrechen Sie jetzt ein wenig die Lektüre – zu viel
Aphorismen auf einmal verträgt auch der talentierteste Leser nicht ..
Geheuchelte Eifersucht ist die letzte Feigheit einer sterbenden Liebe.
Man findet bei jeder Frau eine Ansicht, ein Prinzip, das ein Liebhaber bei ihr
vergessen hat.
Wenn Frauen beten, kokettieren sie mit dem lieben Gott; wenn Frauen
sündigen, flirten sie mit dem Teufel.
Bei den Hintertüren, die zur Karrière führen, hält stets eine Frau die Klinke
in der Hand.
Selbst Raffael konnte seine Fornarina nicht treu malen.
Manicure. Man findet mehr gepflegte Fingernägel als gepflegte Seelen.
Frauentränen trocknet man nicht mit Taschentüchern, sondern mit
Seidenkleidern.
Ein Mann widerspricht dem anderen, Frauen widersprechen sich.
Bei der ersten und letzten Liebe lieben die Frauen die Liebe, dazwischen die
– Männer.
Die Männer können Luftschiffe erfinden und neue Sprengmittel, aber auf
geniale Gemeinheiten kommt nur eine Frau.
Wenn eine Frau in einem Salon erscheint, grüßt sie ihren Mann als ersten
und ihren Liebhaber als letzten.
Am raschesten langweilt uns das Herz einer Frau. Ihrer Taille werden wir nicht so bald überdrüssig.
Wenn einer Frau das Herz gebrochen wurde, so verschenkt sie die Scherben.
Nur wenig Frauen verbergen ihr Leid tief in ihr Innerstes, denn dort würde es
niemand sehen.
Aus dem Tagebuche einer schönen Frau: Wahrheit ist das, was die Männer
glauben.
Jugend ist bei einer Frau oft nur Konsequenz.
Rauchfreiheit. Es gibt Frauen, die sich am liebsten am Weltbrand eine
Zigarette anzünden würden.
Wenn eine Frau, die wir anbeten, uns betrügt, so ist das Religionsstörung.
Weltgeschichte. Herostrat hat den Tempel der Artemis in Brand gesteckt –
die Zündhölzchen hat ihm sicher eine Frau gereicht.
Aus dem hohen Lied der Liebe ist längst ein Gassenhauer geworden.
Die erste Liebe ist die Religion der Frau und ihre letzte Liebe – die Religion.
Gäbe es weibliche Päpste, so würde es keine Heiligen geben, weil eine Frau
nie die andere heilig spricht.
Als der ehrbarste Antrag gilt den Frauen ein Heiratsantrag.
Weltanschauung. Sie war eine Pessimistin und verneinte das Leben. Aber sie
lächelte dabei, weil es sie gut kleidete.
Alle Frauen befragen den Spiegel, aber nur, weil er nicht antworten kann.
Was ist Fama? Wenn eine Frau ganz erzählt, was sie nur halb gehört hat.
Manche Frauen lügen auch wenn sie schweigen.
Über Frauen soll man nie mit Frauen sprechen.
Die Intellektuellen. Wie kompliziert sind doch die einfachen Frauen und wie
einfach sind die – Komplizierten.
Von ihrer Jugend nehmen die Frauen immer wieder Abschied.
Auf das erste graue Haar macht eine Frau nie der Spiegel aufmerksam,
sondern immer eine gute Freundin.
Im Herbst färben sich Blätter und Frauen.
Zweimal zwei ist fünf – wenn eine Frau dabei in Rechnung kommt.
Auf der Straße sprechen die meisten Menschen über Liebe, Ehe und andere –
Geldsachen.
Der gute oder schlechte Ruf einer Frau hängt selten von ihrer Tugend ab.
Der Mann, der herrscht, ruft: »Ich bin dein Herr«, die Frau, die herrscht, flüstert: »Bin ich nicht deine Sklavin?«
Prozesse und Frauen werden gewöhnlich erst in der letzten Instanz
gewonnen.
Frauen sind wohl die Mühe wert, die man sich gibt, um sie zu erobern, aber
selten die, die es kostet, sie zu verlieren.
Die grauen Haare eines Mannes färben auch auf die Frau ab.
Es ist nicht immer »ja«, wenn eine Frau »nein« sagt.
Frauen haben eine gesunde Konstitution: für die Liebe sterben sie öfter.
Die Frauen lassen sich das am liebsten erklären, was sie am besten wissen.
Man kann nur einmal zum ersten Male lieben, zum letzten Male liebt man
öfter.
Eine Frau hat oft so viel damit zu tun, ihren guten Ruf zu verteidigen, daß sie
keine Zeit findet – tugendhaft zu sein.
Zumeist gründen die Frauen einen literarischen Salon, für deren Boudoir sich
kein Mann interessiert.
Eine Liebe, die sich auf eine Laune gründet, währt am längsten, weil die
Laune einer Frau beständiger ist als ihre Liebe.
Das große »Pfui«. Nichts spricht eine Frau mit weniger innerer Überzeugung
als »Pfui«.
Die Tugend wird geschätzt, das Laster taxiert.
Die Waffen, mit denen die Frauen oft ihre Tugend verteidigen, sind –
ungeladene Revolver.
Individualität. »Sie ist schlecht geworden« – hat man in der guten alten Zeit
gesagt – jetzt sagt man: »Oh, sie ist eine Individualität.«
Es gibt auch seelischen Barchent, den tragen gewöhnlich Frauen in Seide.
Bei den Frauen glaube ich an eine Seelenwanderung, denn ihre Seele
wandert gerne von einem zum anderen.
Sittliche Entrüstung ist eine Toilette-Angelegenheit. Sie kleidet immer gut.
Begeisterung paßt nicht zu jedem Teint.
Die Frauen sind immer anders als wir glauben, denn sie kümmern sich nicht
um die Psychologie.
EPILOG
Alle diese Aphorismen haben einen Vorzug: das Gegenteil ist ebenso richtig.
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