Scene 1

EXT. A BUSY LONDON STREET. LATE AFTERNOON.

Horse traffic, the buzz of people, the shouts of children, have faded up under the end of Watson’s narration.

Now, a Salvation Army brass band strikes up “God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen”.

After a few moments, a collecting lady rattles her tin. The music recedes a little.

COLLECTOR: Support the Mission, won’t you sir? A warm Christmas meal for the poor and needy.

HORNER: Yes, yes, of course. There.

He sorts through his small number of coins, donates one.

COLLECTOR: Lord love you sir. A Merry Christmas to you and your good lady.

HORNER: Thank you.

MRS. HORNER: And to you.

COLLECTOR: Bless you ma’am. ( Moving off) Support the poor at Christmas. Thank you sir, thank you...

MRS. HORNER: ( Amused) Well, “sir”.

HORNER: Yes, “ma’am”? ( He chuckles) Sounds good, don’t it? I suppose she gets more money that way.

MRS. HORNER: Now John, don’t be like that. Why shouldn’t you be shown a bit of respect?

HORNER: True enough. John Horner, plumber and builder by Royal Appointment, that’s me after today’s little job. Mind you, they was careful

to call me in when Her Ladyship was out the way. Couldn’t have her clapping her eyes on a working man.

MRS. HORNER: But it paid well.

HORNER: Very handsome. Course I told them I ought to take less.

MRS. HORNER: You never did!

HORNER: That’s right - I never did.

MRS. HORNER: ( Laughing) Get on with you.

HORNER: So I reckon we can treat the kids to a present apiece and have enough left over for a bit of something tasty for the table. It’s going to be a good Christmas, girl.

MRS. HORNER: Well, God bless the aristocracy.

HORNER: May they never learn to do their own plumbing.

BOTH: ( Chuckle happily)

The moment is killed by a heavy hand clamping down on Horner’s shoulder.

BRADSTREET: John Terence Horner?

HORNER: Who wants to know?

BRADSTREET: Inspector Bradstreet, Scotland Yard.

MRS. HORNER: John!

HORNER: What do you want?

BRADSTREET: What I want, my friend, is you. You’re under arrest.

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