Scene 11

INT. THE SITTING-ROOM AT 221b BAKER STREET.

The fire, as usual. The door opens.

HOLMES: Ah, come in, Doctor. I was beginning to think you were going to miss the excitement.

WATSON: Unfortunately, my patients haven’t yet learned to be ill only between the hours of nine and five-thirty.

He warms himself. Holmes pours him a drink.

HOLMES: Here. Some restorative medicine.

WATSON: Thank you. The compli - Your very good health.

He knocks it back, appreciatively.

WATSON: That’s excellent.

The doorbell rings.

HOLMES: Mr. Henry Baker. He’s admirably punctual.

WATSON: Do you think he did have anything to do with the robbery?

HOLMES: Why speculate? Soon, we shall know.

WATSON: What about the man Bradstreet’s arrested? Is he innocent?

HOLMES: I can’t tell.

WATSON: He has a wife and two children.

HOLMES: And a previous conviction.

WATSON: He’s continued to protest his innocence. Suppose he’s not the thief. What sort of Christmas are his family going to have?

HOLMES: I’m interested in facts, not suppositions. Come in!

The door opens. There was no knock - Holmes’s timing is impeccable.

BAKER: Good evening, gentlemen.

HOLMES: Mr. Henry Baker, I presume?

BAKER: Correct, sir.

He closes the door.

HOLMES: Pray come and sit by the fire, Mr. Baker. It’s a cold night, and I observe that your circulation is more adapted for summer than for winter.

BAKER: ( Approaching) Thank you, Mr..?

HOLMES: Holmes. And this is my friend and colleague, Dr. Watson.

WATSON: Good evening, sir.

BAKER: Doctor. ( Sits) I saw your advertisement in The Echo, gentlemen.

HOLMES: Excellent. Is that your hat, Mr. Baker?

BAKER: Yes sir, that is undoubtedly my hat. I thought never to see it again. Or my specimen of ansa ansa domesticus.

HOLMES: Ah yes, your goose. I’m afraid we were compelled to eat it.

BAKER: To eat it!

HOLMES: Yes. It would have been no use to anyone had we not done so.

BAKER: Oh dear.

WATSON: Chin up, Mr. Baker. Look on the sideboard.

BAKER: The sideboard, sir? ( He looks around) Ah!

HOLMES: I presume that that goose, which is about the same weight-WATSON: And perfectly fresh.

HOLMES: – will answer your purpose equally well?

BAKER: ( With a sigh of relief) Oh certainly, certainly.

HOLMES: Of course, we still have the feathers, legs, crop, and so on of your own bird, if you so wish..?

BAKER: ( Laughing) They might serve as relics of my adventure, but beyond that, I can hardly see what use the disjecta membra of my late

acquaintance are going to be to me.

HOLMES: Here is your hat then.

WATSON: ( Lifting it) And here is your bird.

BAKER: ( Rising) Thank you, gentlemen.

HOLMES: By the way...

BAKER: Mr. Holmes?

HOLMES: Would it bore you to tell me where you got the other goose from? I am something of a fowl-fancier, and I have seldom seen a better-grown bird.

BAKER: Certainly sir. ( Taking his bird) Thank you, Doctor. There are a few of us who frequent a particular tavern near the British Museum - we are to be found in the Museum itself during the day, you understand... studying.

HOLMES: Quite so.

BAKER: Yes. Well, this year, our good host, Windigate by name, instituted a goose-club, by which, on consideration of some few pence every week, we were to receive a bird at Christmas.

WATSON: An admirable arrangement.

BAKER: Indeed, sir. For one such as I, to whom shillings are not so plentiful as once they were, it was a Godsend. And then to have both bird and headgear snatched from my person... ( He pulls himself together) Well, enough of that.

HOLMES: And what is the name of this excellent hostelry?

BAKER: Ah yes. The Alpha Inn.

HOLMES: Thank you.

WATSON: A very good evening to you, Mr. Baker.

He opens the door.

BAKER: ( Going) Goodnight Mr. Holmes. Doctor Watson.

HOLMES: Goodnight.

BAKER: And the compliments of the season to you both.

HOLMES: ( Grunts)

WATSON: And to you, sir.

He closes the door and returns.

WATSON: Well. It’s quite certain that he knows nothing whatever about the matter. Poor old soul. Why was he so embarrassed about his studies?

HOLMES: I fancy he values the Museum as much for its warmth and its comfort as for its books. ( A moment. Then suddenly all action) Now, Doctor, what are your plans for the evening? Is Mrs. Watson standing anxiously in the window, awaiting your return to home and hearth?

WATSON: Not now I’ve told her what happened this morning. She knows you far too well. “Tell Mr. Holmes I’d appreciate having you back by the New Year,” she said.

HOLMES: ( Laughs delightedly) Splendid! Come along then.

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