Chapter 3

Every m orning now brought its regular duties – shops were to be visited;

som e new part of the town to be looked at; and the pum p-room to be attended, where they paraded up and down for an hour, looking at every body and speaking to no one. The wish of a num erous acquaintance in Bath was still upperm ost with Mrs. Allen, and she repeated it after every fresh proof, which every m orning brought, of her knowing nobody at all.

They m ade their appearance in the Lower Room s; and here fortune

was m ore favourable to our heroine. The m aster of the cerem onies introduced to her a very gentlem anlike y oung m an as a partner; his nam e was Tilney. He seem ed to be about four or five and twenty, was rather tall, had a pleasing countenance, a very intelligent and lively ey e, and, if not quite handsom e, was very near it. His address was good, and Catherine felt herself in high luck. There was little leisure for speaking while they danced; but when they were seated at tea, she found him as agreeable as she had already given him credit for being. He talked with fluency and spirit – and there was an archness and pleasantry in his m anner which interested, though it was hardly understood by her. After chatting som e tim e on such m atters as natu-rally arose from the obj ects around them , he suddenly addressed her with – “I have hitherto been very rem iss, m adam , in the proper attent-ions of a partner here; I have not y et asked y ou how long y ou have been in Bath; whether y ou were ever here before; whether y ou have been at the Upper Room s, the theatre, and the concert; and how y ou like the place alto-gether. I have been very negligent – but are y ou now at leisure to satisfy m e in these particulars? If y ou are I will begin directly.”

“You need not give y ourself that trouble, sir.”

“No trouble, I assure y ou, m adam .” Then form ing his features into a

set sm ile, and affectedly softening his voice, he added, with a sim pering air, “Have y ou been long in Bath, m adam ?”

“About a week, sir,” replied Catherine, try ing not to laugh. “Really !” with affected astonishm ent.

“Why should y ou be surprised, sir?”

“Why, indeed!” said he, in his natural tone. “But som e em otion m ust

appear to be raised by y our reply, and surprise is m ore easily assum ed, and not less reasonable than any other. Now let us go on. Were y ou never here before, m adam ?”

“Never, sir.”

“Indeed! Have y ou y et honoured the Upper Room s?”

“Yes, sir, I was there last Monday.”

“Have y ou been to the theatre?”

“Yes, sir, I was at the play on Tuesday.”

“To the concert?”

“Yes, sir, on Wednesday.”

“And are y ou altogether pleased with Bath?”

“Yes – I like it very well.”

“Now I m ust give one sm irk, and then we m ay be rational again.”

Catherine turned away her head, not knowing whether she m ight venture to laugh. “I see what y ou think of m e,” said he gravely – “I shall m ake but a poor figure in y our j ournal tom orrow.”

“My j ournal!”

“Yes, I know exactly what y ou will say : Friday, went to the Lower

Room s; wore m y sprigged m uslin robe with blue trim m ings – plain black shoes – appeared to m uch advantage; but was strangely harassed by a queer, half-witted m an, who would m ake m e dance with him , and distressed m e by his nonsense.”

“Indeed I shall say no such thing.”

“Shall I tell y ou what y ou ought to say ?”

“If y ou please.”

“I danced with a very agreeable y oung m an, introduced by Mr. King;

had a great deal of conversation with him – seem s a m ost extraordinary genius – hope I m ay know m ore of him . That, m adam , is what I wish y ou to say.”

“But, perhaps, I keep no j ournal.”

“Perhaps y ou are not sitting in this room , and I am not sitting by y ou.

These are points in which a doubt is equally possible. Not keep a j ournal! How are y our absent cousins to understand the tenour of y our life in Bath without one? How are the civilities and com plim ents of every day to be related as they ought to be, unless noted down every evening in a j ournal? How are y our various dresses to be rem em bered, and the particular state of y our com plexion, and curl of y our hair to be described in all their diversities, without having constant recourse to a j ournal? My dear m adam , I am not so ignorant of y oung ladies’ way s as y ou wish to believe m e; it is this delightful habit of j ournaling which largely contributes to form the easy sty le of writing for which ladies are so generally celebrated. Every body allows that the talent of writing agreeable letters is peculiarly fem ale. Nature m ay have done som ething, but I am sure it m ust be essentially assisted by the practice of keeping a j ournal.”

“I have som etim es thought,” said Catherine, doubtingly, “whether ladies

do write so m uch better letters than gentlem en! That is – I should not think the superiority was alway s on our side.”

“As far as I have had opportunity of j udging, it appears to m e that the

usual sty le of letter-writing am ong wom en is faultless, except in three particulars.”

“And what are they ?”

“A general deficiency of subj ect, a total inattention to stops, and a very frequent ignorance of gram m ar.”

“Upon m y word! I need not have been afraid of disclaim ing the

com plim ent. You do not think too highly of us in that way.”

“I should no m ore lay it down as a general rule that wom en write better

letters than m en, than that they sing better duets, or draw better landscapes. In every power, of which taste is the foundation, excellence is pretty fairly divided between the sexes.”

They were interrupted by Mrs. Allen: “My dear Catherine,” said she,

“do take this pin out of m y sleeve; I am afraid it has torn a hole already ; I shall be quite sorry if it has, for this is a favourite gown, though it cost but nine shillings a y ard.”

“That is exactly what I should have guessed it, m adam ,” said Mr.

Tilney, looking at the m uslin.

“Do y ou understand m uslins, sir?”

“Particularly well; I alway s buy m y own cravats, and am allowed to

be an excellent j udge; and m y sister has often trusted m e in the choice of a gown. I bought one for her the other day, and it was pronounced to be a prodigious bargain by every lady who saw it. I gave but five shillings a y ard for it, and a true Indian m uslin.”

Mrs. Allen was quite struck by his genius. “Men com m only take so little

notice of those things,” said she; “I can never get Mr. Allen to know one of m y gowns from another. You m ust be a great com fort to y our sister, sir.”

“I hope I am , m adam .”

“And pray, sir, what do y ou think of Miss Morland’s gown?”

“It is very pretty, m adam ,” said he, gravely exam ining it; “but I do not

think it will wash well; I am afraid it will fray.”

“How can y ou,” said Catherine, laughing, “be so – “ She had alm ost

said “strange.”

“I am quite of y our opinion, sir,” replied Mrs. Allen; “and so I told Miss

Morland when she bought it.”

“But then y ou know, m adam , m uslin alway s turns to som e account or

other; Miss Morland will get enough out of it for a handkerchief, or a cap, or a cloak. Muslin can never be said to be wasted. I have heard m y sister say so forty tim es, when she has been extravagant in buy ing m ore than she wanted, or careless in cutting it to pieces.”

“Bath is a charm ing place, sir; there are so m any good shops here. We

are sadly off in the country ; not but what we have very good shops in Salisbury, but it is so far to go – eight m iles is a long way ; Mr. Allen say s it is nine, m easured nine; but I am sure it cannot be m ore than eight; and it is such a fag – I com e back tired to death. Now, here one can step out of doors and get a thing in five m inutes.”

Mr. Tilney was polite enough to seem interested in what she said; and

she kept him on the subj ect of m uslins till the dancing recom m enced. Catherine feared, as she listened to their discourse, that he indulged him self a little too m uch with the foibles of others. “What are y ou thinking of so earnestly ?” said he, as they walked back to the ballroom ; “not of y our partner, I hope, for, by that shake of the head, y our m editations are not satisfactory.”

Catherine coloured, and said, “I was not thinking of any thing.”

“That is artful and deep, to be sure; but I had rather be told at once that

y ou will not tell m e.”

“Well then, I will not.”

“Thank y ou; for now we shall soon be acquainted, as I am authorized to

tease y ou on this subj ect whenever we m eet, and noth-ing in the world advances intim acy so m uch.”

They danced again; and, when the assem bly closed, parted, on the

lady ’s side at least, with a strong inclination for continuing the acquaintance. Whether she thought of him so m uch, while she drank her warm wine and water, and prepared herself for bed, as to dream of him when there, cannot be ascertained; but I hope it was no m ore than in a slight slum ber, or a m orning doze at m ost; for if it be true, as a celebrated writer has m aintained, that no y oung lady can be j ustified in falling in love before the gentlem an’s love is declared,* it m ust be very im proper that a y oung lady should dream of a gentlem an before the gentlem an is first known to have dream t of her. How proper Mr. Tilney m ight be as a dream er or a lover had not y et perhaps entered Mr. Allen’s head, but that he was not obj ection-able as a com m on acquaintance for his y oung charge he was on inquiry satisfied; for he had early in the evening taken pains to know who her partner was, and had been assured of Mr. Tilney ’s being a clergy m an, and of a very respectable fam ily in Gloucestershire.