Chapter 7

Half a m inute conducted them through the pum p-y ard to the archway,

opposite Union Passage; but here they were stopped. Every body acquainted with Bath m ay rem em ber the difficulties of crossing Cheap Street at this point; it is indeed a street of so im pertinent a nature, so unfortunately connected with the great London and Oxford roads, and the principal inn of the city, that a day never passes in which parties of ladies, however im portant their business, whether in quest of pastry, m illinery, or even (as in the present case) of y oung m en, are not detained on one side or other by carriages, horsem en, or carts. This evil had been felt and lam ented, at least three tim es a day, by Isabella since her residence in Bath; and she was now fated to feel and lam ent it once m ore, for at the very m om ent of com ing opposite to Union Passage, and within view of the two gentlem en who were proceeding through the crowds, and threading the gutters of that interesting alley, they were prevented crossing by the approach of a gig, driven along on bad pavem ent by a m ost knowing-looking coachm an with all the vehem ence that could m ost fitly endanger the lives of him self, his com panion, and his horse.

“Oh, these odious gigs!” said Isabella, looking up. “How I detest them .”

But this detestation, though so j ust, was of short du-ration, for she looked again and exclaim ed, “Delightful! Mr. Morland and m y brother!”

“Good heaven! ’Tis Jam es!” was uttered at the sam e m om ent by

Catherine; and, on catching the y oung m en’s ey es, the horse was im m ediately checked with a violence which alm ost threw him on his haunches, and the servant having now scam pered up, the gentlem en j um ped out, and the equipage was delivered to his care.

Catherine, by whom this m eeting was wholly unexpected, received her

brother with the liveliest pleasure; and he, being of a very am iable disposition, and sincerely attached to her, gave every proof on his side of equal satisfaction, which he could have leisure to do, while the bright ey es of Miss Thorpe were incessantly challenging his notice; and to her his devoirs were speedily paid, with a m ixture of j oy and em bar-rassm ent which m ight have inform ed Catherine, had she been m ore expert in the developm ent of other people’s feelings, and less sim ply engrossed by her own, that her brother thought her friend quite as pretty as she could do herself.

John Thorpe, who in the m eantim e had been giving orders about the

horses, soon j oined them , and from him she directly received the am ends which were her due; for while he slightly and carelessly touched the hand of Isabella, on her he bestowed a whole scrape and half a short bow. He was a stout y oung m an of m iddling height, who, with a plain face and un-graceful form , seem ed fearful of being too handsom e unless he wore the dress of a groom , and too m uch like a gentlem an unless he were easy where he ought to be civil, and im pudent where he m ight be allowed to be easy. He took out his watch: “How long do y ou think we have been running it from Tetbury, Miss Morland?”

“I do not know the distance.” Her brother told her that it was twenty -

three m iles.

“Three and twenty !” cried Thorpe. “Five and twenty if it is an inch.”

Morland rem onstrated, pleaded the authority of road-books, innkeepers, and m ilestones; but his friend disregarded them all; he had a surer test of distance. “I know it m ust be five and twenty,” said he, “by the tim e we have been doing it. It is now half after one; we drove out of the inn-y ard at Tetbury as the town clock struck eleven; and I defy any m an in England to m ake m y horse go less than ten m iles an hour in harness; that m akes it exactly twenty -five.”

“You have lost an hour,” said Morland; “it was only ten o’clock when

we cam e from Tetbury.”

“Ten o’clock! It was eleven, upon m y soul! I counted every stroke. This

brother of y ours would persuade m e out of m y senses, Miss Morland; do but look at m y horse; did y ou ever see an anim al so m ade for speed in y our life?” (The servant had j ust m ounted the carriage and was driving off.) “Such true blood! Three hours and and a half indeed com ing only three and twenty m iles! Look at that creature, and suppose it possible if y ou can.”

“He does look very hot, to be sure.”

“Hot! He had not turned a hair till we cam e to Walcot Church; but look

at his forehand; look at his loins; only see how he m oves; that horse cannot go less than ten m iles an hour: tie his legs and he will get on. What do y ou think of m y gig, Miss Morland? A neat one, is not it? Well hung; town-built; I have not had it a m onth. It was built for a Christchurch m an, a friend of m ine, a very good sort of fellow; he ran it a few weeks, till, I believe, it was convenient to have done with it. I happened j ust then to be looking out for som e light thing of the kind, though I had pretty well determ ined on a curricle too; but I chanced to m eet him on Magdalen Bridge, as he was driving into Oxford, last term : ‘Ah! Thorpe,’ said he, ‘do y ou happen to want such a little thing as this? It is a capital one of the kind, but I am cursed tired of it.’ ‘Oh! D...,’ said I; ‘I am y our m an; what do y ou ask?’ And how m uch do y ou think he did, Miss Morland?”

“I am sure I cannot guess at all.”

“Curricle-hung, y ou see; seat, trunk, sword-case, splashing-board,

lam ps, silver m oulding, all y ou see com plete; the iron-work as good as new, or better. He asked fifty guineas; I closed with him directly, threw down the m oney, and the carriage was m ine.”

“And I am sure,” said Catherine, “I know so little of such things that I

cannot j udge whether it was cheap or dear.”

“Neither one nor t’other; I m ight have got it for less, I dare say ; but I hate haggling, and poor Freem an wanted cash.”

“That was very good-natured of y ou,” said Catherine, quite pleased. “Oh! D... it, when one has the m eans of doing a kind thing by a friend, I

hate to be pitiful.”

An inquiry now took place into the intended m ovem ents of the y oung

ladies; and, on finding whither they were going, it was decided that the gentlem en should accom pany them to Edgar’s Buildings, and pay their respects to Mrs. Thorpe. Jam es and Isabella led the way ; and so well satisfied was the latter with her lot, so contentedly was she endeavouring to ensure a pleasant walk to him who brought the double recom m endation of being her brother’s friend, and her friend’s brother, so pure and uncoquettish were her feelings, that, though they overtook and passed the two offending y oung m en in Milsom Street, she was so far from seeking to attract their notice, that she looked back at them only three tim es.

John Thorpe kept of course with Catherine, and, after a few m inutes’

silence, renewed the conversation about his gig. “You will find, however, Miss Morland, it would be reckoned a cheap thing by som e people, for I m ight have sold it for ten guineas m ore the next day ; Jackson, of Oriel, bid m e sixty at once; Morland was with m e at the tim e.”

“Yes,” said Morland, who overheard this; “but y ou forget that y our

horse was included.”

“My horse! Oh, d... it! I would not sell m y horse for a hundred. Are

y ou fond of an open carriage, Miss Morland?”

“Yes, very ; I have hardly ever an opportunity of being in one; but I am

particularly fond of it.”

“I am glad of it; I will drive y ou out in m ine every day.”

“Thank y ou,” said Catherine, in som e distress, from a doubt of the

propriety of accepting such an offer.

“I will drive y ou up Lansdown Hill tom orrow.”

“Thank y ou; but will not y our horse want rest?”

“Rest! He has only com e three and twenty m iles today ; all nonsense;

nothing ruins horses so m uch as rest; nothing knocks them up so soon. No, no; I shall exercise m ine at the average of four hours every day while I am here.”

“Shall y ou indeed!” said Catherine very seriously. “That will be forty

m iles a day.”

“Forty ! Ay e, fifty, for what I care. Well, I will drive y ou up Lansdown

tom orrow; m ind, I am engaged.”

“How delightful that will be!” cried Isabella, turning round. “My

dearest Catherine, I quite envy y ou; but I am afraid, brother, y ou will not have room for a third.”

“A third indeed! No, no; I did not com e to Bath to drive m y sisters about; that would be a good j oke, faith! Morland m ust take care of y ou.”

This brought on a dialogue of civilities between the other two; but

Catherine heard neither the particulars nor the result. Her com panion’s discourse now sunk from its hitherto anim ated pitch to nothing m ore than a short decisive sentence of praise or condem nation on the face of every wom an they m et; and Catherine, after listening and agreeing as long as she could, with all the civility and deference of the y outhful fem ale m ind, fearful of hazarding an opinion of its own in opposition to that of a self-assured m an, especially where the beauty of her own sex is concerned, ventured at length to vary the subj ect by a question which had been long upperm ost in her thoughts; it was, “Have y ou ever read Udolpho, Mr. Thorpe?”

“Udolpho! Oh, Lord! Not I; I never read novels; I have som ething else

to do.”

Catherine, hum bled and asham ed, was going to apologize for her

question, but he prevented her by say ing, “Novels are all so full of nonsense and stuff; there has not been a tolerably decent one com e out since Tom Jones, except The Monk; I read that t’other day ; but as for all the others, they are the stupidest things in creation.”

“I think y ou m ust like Udolpho, if y ou were to read it; it is so very

interesting.”

“Not I, faith! No, if I read any, it shall be Mrs. Radcliffe’s; her novels

are am using enough; they are worth reading; som e fun and nature in them .”

“Udolpho was written by Mrs. Radcliffe,” said Catherine, with som e

hesitation, from the fear of m ortify ing him .

“No sure; was it? Ay e, I rem em ber, so it was; I was thinking of that

other stupid book, written by that wom an they m ake such a fuss about, she who m arried the French em igrant.”

“I suppose y ou m ean Cam illa?”

“Yes, that’s the book; such unnatural stuff! An old m an play ing at see-

saw, I took up the first volum e once and looked it over, but I soon found it would not do; indeed I guessed what sort of stuff it m ust be before I saw it: as soon as I heard she had m arried an em igrant, I was sure I should never be able to get through it.”

“I have never read it.”

“You had no loss, I assure y ou; it is the horridest nonsense y ou can

im agine; there is nothing in the world in it but an old m an’s play ing at see-saw and learning Latin; upon m y soul there is not.”

This critique, the j ustness of which was unfortunately lost on poor

Catherine, brought them to the door of Mrs. Thorpe’s lodgings, and the feelings of the discerning and unprej udiced reader of Cam illa gave way to the feelings of the dutiful and affectionate son, as they m et Mrs. Thorpe, who had descried them from above, in the passage. “Ah, Mother! How do y ou do?” said he, giving her a hearty shake of the hand. “Where did y ou get that quiz of a hat? It m akes y ou look like an old witch. Here is Morland and I com e to stay a few day s with y ou, so y ou m ust look out for a couple of good beds som ewhere near.” And this address seem ed to satisfy all the fondest wishes of the m other’s heart, for she received him with the m ost delighted and exulting affection. On his two y ounger sisters he then bestowed an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness, for he asked each of them how they did, and observed that they both looked very ugly.

These m anners did not please Catherine; but he was Jam es’s friend and

Isabella’s brother; and her j udgm ent was further bought off by Isabella’s assuring her, when they withdrew to see the new hat, that John thought her the m ost charm ing girl in the world, and by John’s engaging her before they parted to dance with him that evening. Had she been older or vainer, such attacks m ight have done little; but, where y outh and diffidence are united, it requires uncom m on steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the m ost charm ing girl in the world, and of being so very early engaged as a partner; and the consequence was that, when the two Morlands, after sitting an hour with the Thorpes, set off to walk together to Mr. Allen’s, and Jam es, as the door was closed on them , said, “Well, Catherine, how do y ou like m y friend Thorpe?” instead of answering, as she probably would have done, had there been no friendship and no flattery in the case, “I do not like him at all,” she directly replied, “I like him very m uch; he seem s very agreeable.”

“He is as good-natured a fellow as ever lived; a little of a rattle; but that

will recom m end him to y our sex, I believe: and how do y ou like the rest of the fam ily ?”

“Very, very m uch indeed: Isabella particularly.”

“I am very glad to hear y ou say so; she is j ust the kind of y oung

wom an I could wish to see y ou attached to; she has so m uch good sense, and is so thoroughly unaffected and am iable; I alway s wanted y ou to know her; and she seem s very fond of y ou. She said the highest things in y our praise that could possibly be; and the praise of such a girl as Miss Thorpe even y ou, Catherine,” taking her hand with affection, “m ay be proud of.”

“Indeed I am ,” she replied; “I love her exceedingly, and am delighted

to find that y ou like her too. You hardly m ention-ed any thing of her when y ou wrote to m e after y our visit there.”

“Because I thought I should soon see y ou m y self. I hope y ou will be a

great deal together while y ou are in Bath. She is a m ost am iable girl; such a superior understanding! How fond all the fam ily are of her; she is evidently the general favourite; and how m uch she m ust be adm ired in such a place as this, is not she?”

“Yes, very m uch indeed, I fancy ; Mr. Allen thinks her the prettiest girl in Bath.”

“I dare say he does; and I do not know any m an who is a better j udge

of beauty than Mr. Allen. I need not ask y ou whether y ou are happy here, m y dear Catherine; with such a com panion and friend as Isabella Thorpe, it would be im possible for y ou to be otherwise; and the Allens, I am sure, are very kind to y ou?”

“Yes, very kind; I never was so happy before; and now y ou are com e it

will be m ore delightful than ever; how good it is of y ou to com e so far on purpose to see m e.”

Jam es accepted this tribute of gratitude, and qualified his conscience for

accepting it too, by say ing with perfect sin-cerity, “Indeed, Catherine, I love y ou dearly.”

Inquiries and com m unications concerning brothers and sisters, the

situation of som e, the growth of the rest, and other fam ily m atters now passed between them , and continued, with only one sm all digression on Jam es’s part, in praise of Miss Thorpe, till they reached Pulteney Street, where he was welcom ed with great kindness by Mr. and Mrs. Allen, invited by the form er to dine with them , and sum m oned by the latter to guess the price and weigh the m erits of a new m uff and tippet. A pre-engagem ent in Edgar’s Buildings prevented his accepting the invitation of one friend, and obliged him to hurry away as soon as he had satisfied the dem ands of the other. The tim e of the two parties uniting in the Octagon Room being correctly adj usted, Catherine was then left to the luxury of a raised, restless, and frightened im agination over the pages of Udolpho, lost from all worldly concerns of dressing and dinner, incapable of soothing Mrs. Allen’s fears on the delay of an expected dressm aker, and having only one m inute in sixty to bestow even on the reflection of her own felicity, in being already engaged for the evening.