Tarántula
Having a weird drink with the long tall stranger
HAVING A WEIRD DRINK WITH THE LONG
TALL STRANGER
back betty, black bready blam de lam! bloody had a baby blam de lam! hire the handicapped blam de lam! put him on the wheel blam de lam! burn him in the coffee blam de lam! cut him with a fish knife blam de lam! send him off to college & pet him with a drumstick blam de lam! boil him in the cookbook blam de lam! fix him up an elephant blam de lam! sell him to the doctors blam de lam… back betty, big bready blam de lam! betty had a milkman, blam de lam! sent him to the chain gang blam de lam! fixed him up a navel, blam de lam (hold that tit while i git it. Hold it right there while i hit it… blam!) fed him lotza girdles, raised him in pneumonia… black bloody, itty bitty, blam de lam! said he had a lampchop, blam de lam! had him in a stocking, stuck artichokes in his ears, planted him in green beans & stuck him on a compass blam de lam! last time i seed him, blam de lam! he was standing in a window, blam de lam! hundred floors up, blam de lam! with his prayers & his pig foot, blam de lam! black betty, black betty blam de lam! betty had a loser blam de lam, i spied him on the ocean with a long string of muslims — blam de lam! all going quack quack… blam de lam! all going quack quack, blam!
sorry to say, but i’m going
to have to return your ring,
it’s nothing personal, excpt
that i cant do a thing with
my finger & it’s already
beginning to smell like an
eyeball! you know, like i like
to look weird, but nevertheless,
when i play my banjo on stage, i
have to wear a glove, needless
to say, it has started to affect
my playing, please believe me.
it has nothing whatsoever to
do with my love for you…
in fact, sending the ring back
should make my love for you
grow all the more profound…
say hi to your doctor
love,
Toby Celery