Chapter XII

“Oh! I beg y our pardon, sir. I did not im m ediately recollect.

Undoubtedly if y ou wish it, I will endeavour to persuade them both.” And away he ran.

Long before he reappeared, attending the short, neat, brisk-m oving aunt, and her elegant niece, – Mrs. Weston, like a sweet-tem pered wom an and a good wife, had exam ined the passage again, and found the evils of it m uch less than she had supposed before – indeed very trifling; and here ended the difficulties of decision. All the rest, in speculation at least, was perfectly sm ooth. All the m inor arrangem ents of table and chair, lights and m usic, tea and supper, m ade them selves; or were left as m ere trifles to be settled at any tim e between Mrs.

Weston and Mrs. Stokes. – Every body invited, was certainly to com e; Frank had already written to Enscom be to propose stay ing a few day s bey ond his fortnight, which could not possibly be refused. And a delightful dance it was to be.

Most cordially, when Miss Bates arrived, did she agree that it m ust. As a counsellor she was not wanted; but as an approver, (a m uch safer character,) she was truly welcom e. Her approbation, at once general and m inute, warm and incessant, could not but please; and for another half-hour they were all walking to and fro, between the different room s, som e suggesting, som e attending, and all in happy enj oy m ent of the future. The party did not break up without Em m a’s being positively secured for the two first dances by the hero of the evening, nor without

her overhearing Mr. Weston whisper to his wife, “He has asked her, m y dear.

That’s right. I knew he would!”

CHAPTER XII

One thing only was wanting to m ake the prospect of the ball com pletely satisfactory to Em m a – its being fixed for a day within the granted term of Frank Churchill’s stay in Surry ; for, in spite of Mr. Weston’s confidence, she could not think it so very im possible that the Churchills m ight not allow their nephew to rem ain a day bey ond his fortnight. But this was not j udged feasible. The preparations m ust take their tim e, nothing could be properly ready till the third week were entered on, and for a few day s they m ust be planning, proceeding and hoping in uncertainty – at the risk – in her opinion, the great risk, of its being all in vain.

Enscom be however was gracious, gracious in fact, if not in word. His wish of stay ing longer evidently did not please; but it was not opposed. All was safe and prosperous; and as the rem oval of one solicitude generally m akes way for another, Em m a, being now certain of her ball, began to adopt as the next vexation Mr. Knightley ’s provoking indifference about it. Either because he did not dance him self, or because the plan had been form ed without his being consulted, he seem ed resolved that it should not interest him , determ ined against its exciting any present curiosity, or affording him any future am usem ent. To her voluntary com m unications Em m a could get no m ore approving reply, than,

“Very well. If the Westons think it worth while to be at all this trouble for a few hours of noisy entertainm ent, I have nothing to say against it, but that they shall not chuse pleasures for m e. – Oh! y es, I m ust be there; I could not refuse; and I will keep as m uch awake as I can; but I would rather be at hom e, looking over William Larkins’s week’s account; m uch rather, I confess. – Pleasure in seeing dancing! – not I, indeed – I never look at it – I do not know who does. –

Fine dancing, I believe, like virtue, m ust be its own reward. Those who are standing by are usually thinking of som ething very different.”

This Em m a felt was aim ed at her; and it m ade her quite angry. It was not in com plim ent to Jane Fairfax however that he was so indifferent, or so indignant; he was not guided by her feelings in reprobating the ball, for she enj oy ed the thought of it to an extraordinary degree. It m ade her anim ated –

open hearted – she voluntarily said; –

“Oh! Miss Woodhouse, I hope nothing m ay happen to prevent the ball.

What a disappointm ent it would be! I do look forward to it, I own, with very great pleasure.”

It was not to oblige Jane Fairfax therefore that he would have preferred the society of William Larkins. No! – she was m ore and m ore convinced that

Mrs. Weston was quite m istaken in that surm ise. There was a great deal of friendly and of com passionate attachm ent on his side – but no love.

Alas! there was soon no leisure for quarrelling with Mr. Knightley. Two day s of j oy ful security were im m ediately followed by the over-throw of every thing. A letter arrived from Mr. Churchill to urge his nephew’s instant return. Mrs.

Churchill was unwell – far too unwell to do without him ; she had been in a very suffering state (so said her husband) when writing to her nephew two day s before, though from her usual unwillingness to give pain, and constant habit of never thinking of herself, she had not m entioned it; but now she was too ill to trifle, and m ust entreat him to set off for Enscom be without delay.

The substance of this letter was forwarded to Em m a, in a note from Mrs. Weston, instantly. As to his going, it was inevitable. He m ust be gone within a few hours, though without feeling any real alarm for his aunt, to lessen his repugnance. He knew her illnesses; they never occurred but for her own convenience.

Mrs. Weston added, “that he could only allow him self tim e to hurry to Highbury, after breakfast, and take leave of the few friends there whom he could suppose to feel any interest in him ; and that he m ight be expected at Hartfield very soon.”

This wretched note was the finale of Em m a’s breakfast. When once it had been read, there was no doing any thing, but lam ent and exclaim . The loss of the ball – the loss of the y oung m an – and all that the y oung m an m ight be feeling! – It was too wretched! – Such a delightful evening as it would have been!

– Every body so happy ! and she and her partner the happiest! – “I said it would be so,” was the only consolation.

Her father’s feelings were quite distinct. He thought principally of Mrs.

Churchill’s illness, and wanted to know how she was treated; and as for the ball, it was shocking to have dear Em m a disappointed; but they would all be safer at hom e.

Em m a was ready for her visitor som e tim e before he appeared; but if this reflected at all upon his im patience, his sorrowful look and total want of spirits when he did com e m ight redeem him . He felt the going away alm ost too m uch to speak of it. His dej ection was m ost evident. He sat really lost in thought for the first few m inutes; and when rousing him self, it was only to say,

“Of all horrid things, leave-taking is the worst.”

“But y ou will com e again,” said Em m a. “This will not be y our only visit to Randalls.”

“Ah! – (shaking his head) – the uncertainty of when I m ay be able to return! – I shall try for it with a zeal! – It will be the obj ect of all m y thoughts and cares! – and if m y uncle and aunt go to town this spring – but I am afraid – they did not stir last spring – I am afraid it is a custom gone for ever.”

“Our poor ball m ust be quite given up.”

“Ah! that ball! – why did we wait for any thing? – why not seize the pleasure at once? – How often is happiness destroy ed by preparation, foolish preparation! – You told us it would be so. – Oh! Miss Woodhouse, why are y ou alway s so right?”

“Indeed, I am very sorry to be right in this instance. I would m uch rather have been m erry than wise.”

“If I can com e again, we are still to have our ball. My father depends on it. Do not forget y our engagem ent.”

Em m a looked graciously.

“Such a fortnight as it has been!” he continued; “every day m ore precious and m ore delightful than the day before! – every day m aking m e less fit to bear any other place. Happy those, who can rem ain at Highbury !”

“As y ou do us such am ple j ustice now,” said Em m a, laughing, “I will venture to ask, whether y ou did not com e a little doubtfully at first? Do not we rather surpass y our expectations? I am sure we do. I am sure y ou did not m uch expect to like us. You would not have been so long in com ing, if y ou had had a pleasant idea of Highbury.”

He laughed rather consciously ; and though deny ing the sentim ent, Em m a was convinced that it had been so.

“And y ou m ust be off this very m orning?”

“Yes; m y father is to j oin m e here: we shall walk back together, and I m ust be off im m ediately. I am alm ost afraid that every m om ent will bring him .”

“Not five m inutes to spare even for y our friends Miss Fairfax and Miss Bates? How unlucky ! Miss Bates’s powerful, argum entative m ind m ight have strengthened y ours.”

“Yes – I have called there; passing the door, I thought it better. It was a right thing to do. I went in for three m inutes, and was detained by Miss Bates’s being absent. She was out; and I felt it im possible not to wait till she cam e in. She is a wom an that one m ay, that one m ust laugh at; but that one would not wish to slight. It was better to pay m y visit, then” –

He hesitated, got up, walked to a window.

“In short,” said he, “perhaps, Miss Woodhouse – I think y ou can hardly be quite without suspicion” –

He looked at her, as if wanting to read her thoughts. She hardly knew what to say. It seem ed like the forerunner of som ething absolutely serious, which she did not wish. Forcing herself to speak, therefore, in the hope of putting it by, she calm ly said,

“You are quite in the right; it was m ost natural to pay y our visit, then” –

He was silent. She believed he was looking at her; probably reflecting on what she had said, and try ing to understand the m anner. She heard him sigh. It was natural for him to feel that he had cause to sigh. He could not believe her to be encouraging him . A few awkward m om ents passed, and he sat down again; and in a m ore determ ined m anner said,

“It was som ething to feel that all the rest of m y tim e m ight be given to Hartfield. My regard for Hartfield is m ost warm ” –

He stopt again, rose again, and seem ed quite em barrassed. – He was m ore in love with her than Em m a had supposed; and who can say how it m ight have ended, if his father had not m ade his appearance? Mr. Woodhouse soon followed; and the necessity of exertion m ade him com posed.

A very few m inutes m ore, however, com pleted the present trial. Mr.

Weston, alway s alert when business was to be done, and as incapable of procrastinating any evil that was inevitable, as of foreseeing any that was doubtful, said, “It was tim e to go;” and the y oung m an, though he m ight and did sigh, could not but agree, to take leave.

“I shall hear about y ou all,” said he; “that is m y chief consolation. I shall hear of every thing that is going on am ong y ou. I have engaged Mrs. Weston to correspond with m e. She has been so kind as to prom ise it. Oh! the blessing of a fem ale correspondent, when one is really interested in the absent! – she will tell m e every thing. In her letters I shall be at dear Highbury again.”

A very friendly shake of the hand, a very earnest “Good-by e,” closed the speech, and the door had soon shut out Frank Churchill. Short had been the notice – short their m eeting; he was gone; and Em m a felt so sorry to part, and foresaw so great a loss to their little society from his absence as to begin to be afraid of being too sorry, and feeling it too m uch.

It was a sad change. They had been m eeting alm ost every day since his arrival. Certainly his being at Randalls had given great spirit to the last two

weeks – indescribable spirit; the idea, the expectation of seeing him which every m orning had brought, the assurance of his attentions, his liveliness, his m anners! It had been a very happy fortnight, and forlorn m ust be the sinking from it into the com m on course of Hartfield day s. To com plete every other recom m endation, he had alm ost told her that he loved her. What strength, or what constancy of affection he m ight be subj ect to, was another point; but at present she could not doubt his having a decidedly warm adm iration, a conscious preference of herself; and this persuasion, j oined to all the rest, m ade her think that she m ust be a little in love with him , in spite of every previous determ ination against it.