Chapter XVIII

Mr. Weston, however, too eager to be very observant, too com m unicative to want others to talk, was very well satisfied with what she did say, and soon m oved away to m ake the rest of his friends happy by a partial com m unication of what the whole room m ust have overheard already.

It was well that he took every body ’s j oy for granted, or he m ight not have thought either Mr. Woodhouse or Mr. Knightley particularly delighted. They were the first entitled, after Mrs. Weston and Em m a, to be m ade happy ; – from them he would have proceeded to Miss Fairfax, but she was so deep in conversation with John Knightley, that it would have been too positive an interruption; and finding him self close to Mrs. Elton, and her attention disengaged, he necessarily began on the subj ect with her.

CHAPTER XVIII

“I hope I shall soon have the pleasure of introducing m y son to y ou,”

said Mr. Weston.

Mrs. Elton, very willing to suppose a particular com plim ent intended her by such a hope, sm iled m ost graciously.

“You have heard of a certain Frank Churchill, I presum e,” he continued

– “and know him to be m y son, though he does not bear m y nam e.”

“Oh! y es, and I shall be very happy in his acquaintance. I am sure Mr.

Elton will lose no tim e in calling on him ; and we shall both have great pleasure in seeing him at the Vicarage.”

“You are very obliging. – Frank will be extrem ely happy, I am sure. –

He is to be in town next week, if not sooner. We have notice of it in a letter to-day.

I m et the letters in m y way this m orning, and seeing m y son’s hand, presum ed to open it – though it was not directed to m e – it was to Mrs. Weston. She is his principal correspondent, I assure y ou. I hardly ever get a letter.”

“And so y ou absolutely opened what was directed to her! Oh! Mr.

Weston – (laughing affectedly ) I m ust protest against that. – A m ost dangerous precedent indeed! – I beg y ou will not let y our neighbours follow y our exam ple.

– Upon m y word, if this is what I am to expect, we m arried wom en m ust begin to exert ourselves! – Oh! Mr. Weston, I could not have believed it of y ou!”

“Ay e, we m en are sad fellows. You m ust take care of y ourself, Mrs.

Elton. – This letter tells us – it is a short letter – written in a hurry, m erely to give us notice – it tells us that they are all com ing up to town directly, on Mrs.

Churchill’s account – she has not been well the whole winter, and thinks Enscom be too cold for her – so they are all to m ove southward without loss of tim e.”

“Indeed! – from Yorkshire, I think. Enscom be is in Yorkshire?”

“Yes, they are about one hundred and ninety m iles from London, a considerable j ourney.”

“Yes, upon m y word, very considerable. Sixty -five m iles farther than from Maple Grove to London. But what is distance, Mr. Weston, to people of large fortune? – You would be am azed to hear how m y brother, Mr. Suckling, som etim es flies about. You will hardly believe m e – but twice in one week he and Mr. Bragge went to London and back again with four horses.”

“The evil of the distance from Enscom be,” said Mr. Weston, “is, that

Mrs. Churchill, as we understand, has not been able to leave the sofa for a week together. In Frank’s last letter she com plained, he said, of being too weak to get into her conservatory without having both his arm and his uncle’s! This, y ou know, speaks a great degree of weakness – but now she is so im patient to be in town, that she m eans to sleep only two nights on the road. – So Frank writes word. Certainly, delicate ladies have very extraordinary constitutions, Mrs. Elton. You m ust grant m e that.”

“No, indeed, I shall grant y ou nothing. I alway s take the part of m y own sex. I do indeed. I give y ou notice – You will find m e a form idable antagonist on that point. I alway s stand up for wom en – and I assure y ou, if y ou knew how Selina feels with respect to sleeping at an inn, y ou would not wonder at Mrs.

Churchill’s m aking incredible exertions to avoid it. Selina say s it is quite horror to her – and I believe I have caught a little of her nicety. She alway s travels with her own sheets; an excellent precaution. Does Mrs. Churchill do the sam e?”

“Depend upon it, Mrs. Churchill does every thing that any other fine lady ever did. Mrs. Churchill will not be second to any lady in the land for” –

Mrs. Elton eagerly interposed with, “Oh! Mr. Weston, do not m istake m e. Selina is no fine lady, I assure y ou. Do not run away with such an idea.”

“Is not she? Then she is no rule for Mrs. Churchill, who is as thorough a fine lady as any body ever beheld.”

Mrs. Elton began to think she had been wrong in disclaim ing so warm ly.

It was by no m eans her obj ect to have it believed that her sister was not a fine lady ; perhaps there was want of spirit in the pretence of it; – and she was considering in what way she had best retract, when Mr. Weston went on.

“Mrs. Churchill is not m uch in m y good graces, as y ou m ay suspect –

but this is quite between ourselves. She is very fond of Frank, and therefore I would not speak ill of her. Besides, she is out of health now; but that indeed, by her own account, she has alway s been. I would not say so to every body, Mrs. Elton, but I have not m uch faith in Mrs. Churchill’s illness.”

“If she is really ill, why not go to Bath, Mr. Weston? – To Bath, or to Clifton?” “She has taken it into her head that Enscom be is too cold for her. The fact is, I suppose, that she is tired of Enscom be. She has now been a longer tim e stationary there, than she ever was before, and she begins to want change. It is a retired place. A fine place, but very retired.”

“Ay e – like Maple Grove, I dare say. Nothing can stand m ore retired

from the road than Maple Grove. Such an im m ense plantation all round it! You seem shut out from every thing – in the m ost com plete retirem ent. – And Mrs.

Churchill probably has not health or spirits like Selina to enj oy that sort of seclusion. Or, perhaps she m ay not have resources enough in herself to be qualified for a country life. I alway s say a wom an cannot have too m any resources – and I feel very thankful that I have so m any m y self as to be quite independent of society.”

“Frank was here in February for a fortnight.”

“So I rem em ber to have heard. He will find an addition to the society of Highbury when he com es again; that is, if I m ay presum e to call m y self an addition. But perhaps he m ay never have heard of there being such a creature in the world.”

This was too loud a call for a com plim ent to be passed by, and Mr.

Weston, with a very good grace, im m ediately exclaim ed,

“My dear m adam ! Nobody but y ourself could im agine such a thing possible. Not heard of y ou! – I believe Mrs. Weston’s letters lately have been full of very little else than Mrs. Elton.”

He had done his duty and could return to his son.

“When Frank left us,” continued he, “it was quite uncertain when we m ight see him again, which m akes this day ’s news doubly welcom e. It has been com pletely unexpected. That is, I alway s had a strong persuasion he would be here again soon, I was sure som ething favourable would turn up – but nobody believed m e. He and Mrs. Weston were both dreadfully desponding. ‘How could he contrive to com e? And how could it be supposed that his uncle and aunt would spare him again?’ and so forth – I alway s felt that som ething would happen in our favour; and so it has, y ou see. I have observed, Mrs. Elton, in the course of m y life, that if things are going untowardly one m onth, they are sure to m end the next.”

“Very true, Mr. Weston, perfectly true. It is j ust what I used to say to a certain gentlem an in com pany in the day s of courtship, when, because things did not go quite right, did not proceed with all the rapidity which suited his feelings, he was apt to be in despair, and exclaim that he was sure at this rate it would be May before Hy m en’s saffron robe would be put on for us. Oh! the pains I have been at to dispel those gloom y ideas and give him cheerfuller views! The carriage – we had disappointm ents about the carriage; – one m orning, I rem em ber, he cam e to m e quite in despair.”

She was stopped by a slight fit of coughing, and Mr. Weston instantly

seized the opportunity of going on.

“You were m entioning May. May is the very m onth which Mrs.

Churchill is ordered, or has ordered herself, to spend in som e warm er place than Enscom be – in short, to spend in London; so that we have the agreeable prospect of frequent visits from Frank the whole spring – precisely the season of the y ear which one should have chosen for it: day s alm ost at the longest; weather genial and pleasant, alway s inviting one out, and never too hot for exercise. When he was here before, we m ade the best of it; but there was a good deal of wet, dam p, cheerless weather; there alway s is in February, y ou know, and we could not do half that we intended. Now will be the tim e. This will be com plete enj oy m ent; and I do not know, Mrs. Elton, whether the uncertainty of our m eetings, the sort of constant expectation there will be of his com ing in to-day or to-m orrow, and at any hour, m ay not be m ore friendly to happiness than having him actually in the house. I think it is so. I think it is the state of m ind which gives m ost spirit and delight. I hope y ou will be pleased with m y son; but y ou m ust not expect a prodigy. He is generally thought a fine y oung m an, but do not expect a prodigy.

Mrs. Weston’s partiality for him is very great, and, as y ou m ay suppose, m ost gratify ing to m e. She thinks nobody equal to him .”

“And I assure y ou, Mr. Weston, I have very little doubt that m y opinion will be decidedly in his favour. I have heard so m uch in praise of Mr. Frank Churchill. – At the sam e tim e it is fair to observe, that I am one of those who alway s j udge for them selves, and are by no m eans im plicitly guided by others. I give y ou notice that as I find y our son, so I shall j udge of him . – I am no flatterer.” Mr. Weston was m using.

“I hope,” said he presently, “I have not been severe upon poor Mrs.

Churchill. If she is ill I should be sorry to do her inj ustice; but there are som e traits in her character which m ake it difficult for m e to speak of her with the forbearance I could wish. You cannot be ignorant, Mrs. Elton, of m y connexion with the fam ily, nor of the treatm ent I have m et with; and, between ourselves, the whole blam e of it is to be laid to her. She was the instigator. Frank’s m other would never have been slighted as she was but for her. Mr. Churchill has pride; but his pride is nothing to his wife’s: his is a quiet, indolent, gentlem anlike sort of pride that would harm nobody, and only m ake him self a little helpless and tiresom e; but her pride is arrogance and insolence! And what inclines one less to bear, she has no fair pretence of fam ily or blood. She was nobody when he m arried her, barely the daughter of a gentlem an; but ever since her being turned into a Churchill she has out-Churchill’d them all in high and m ighty claim s: but in herself, I assure y ou, she is an upstart.”

“Only think! well, that m ust be infinitely provoking! I have quite a horror of upstarts. Maple Grove has given m e a thorough disgust to people of that sort; for there is a fam ily in that neighbourhood who are such an annoy ance to m y brother and sister from the airs they give them selves! Your description of Mrs. Churchill m ade m e think of them directly. People of the nam e of Tupm an, very lately settled there, and encum bered with m any low connexions, but giving them selves im m ense airs, and expecting to be on a footing with the old established fam ilies. A y ear and a half is the very utm ost that they can have lived at West Hall; and how they got their fortune nobody knows. They cam e from Birm ingham , which is not a place to prom ise m uch, y ou know, Mr. Weston. One has not great hopes from Birm ingham . I alway s say there is som ething direful in the sound: but nothing m ore is positively known of the Tupm ans, though a good m any things I assure y ou are suspected; and y et by their m anners they evidently think them selves equal even to m y brother, Mr. Suckling, who happens to be one of their nearest neighbours. It is infinitely too bad. Mr. Suckling, who has been eleven y ears a resident at Maple Grove, and whose father had it before him – I believe, at least – I am alm ost sure that old Mr. Suckling had com pleted the purchase before his death.”

They were interrupted. Tea was carry ing round, and Mr. Weston, having said all that he wanted, soon took the opportunity of walking away.

After tea, Mr. and Mrs. Weston, and Mr. Elton sat down with Mr.

Woodhouse to cards. The rem aining five were left to their own powers, and Em m a doubted their getting on very well; for Mr. Knightley seem ed little disposed for conversation; Mrs. Elton was wanting notice, which nobody had inclination to pay, and she was herself in a worry of spirits which would have m ade her prefer being silent.

Mr. John Knightley proved m ore talkative than his brother. He was to leave them early the next day ; and he soon began with –

“Well, Em m a, I do not believe I have any thing m ore to say about the boy s; but y ou have y our sister’s letter, and every thing is down at full length there we m ay be sure. My charge would be m uch m ore concise than her’s, and probably not m uch in the sam e spirit; all that I have to recom m end being com prised in, do not spoil them , and do not phy sic them .”

“I rather hope to satisfy y ou both,” said Em m a, “for I shall do all in m y power to m ake them happy, which will be enough for Isabella; and happiness m ust preclude false indulgence and phy sic.”

“And if y ou find them troublesom e, y ou m ust send them hom e again.”

“That is very likely. You think so, do not y ou?”

“I hope I am aware that they m ay be too noisy for y our father – or even m ay be som e encum brance to y ou, if y our visiting engagem ents continue to increase as m uch as they have done lately.”

“Increase!”

“Certainly ; y ou m ust be sensible that the last half-y ear has m ade a great difference in y our way of life.”

“Difference! No indeed I am not.”

“There can be no doubt of y our being m uch m ore engaged with com pany than y ou used to be. Witness this very tim e. Here am I com e down for only one day, and y ou are engaged with a dinner-party ! – When did it happen before, or any thing like it? Your neighbourhood is increasing, and y ou m ix m ore with it. A little while ago, every letter to Isabella brought an account of fresh gaieties; dinners at Mr. Cole’s, or balls at the Crown. The difference which Randalls, Randalls alone m akes in y our goings-on, is very great.”

“Yes,” said his brother quickly, “it is Randalls that does it all.”

“Very well – and as Randalls, I suppose, is not likely to have less influence than heretofore, it strikes m e as a possible thing, Em m a, that Henry and John m ay be som etim es in the way. And if they are, I only beg y ou to send them hom e.”

“No,” cried Mr. Knightley, “that need not be the consequence. Let them be sent to Donwell. I shall certainly be at leisure.”

“Upon m y word,” exclaim ed Em m a, “y ou am use m e! I should like to know how m any of all m y num erous engagem ents take place without y our being of the party ; and why I am to be supposed in danger of wanting leisure to attend to the little boy s. These am azing engagem ents of m ine – what have they been?

Dining once with the Coles – and having a ball talked of, which never took place. I can understand y ou – (nodding at Mr. John Knightley )